Things I Hate About Living With Bipolar Disorder

 

As many know, bipolar disorder is a complicated and frustrating illness. There are many things that I personally dislike about living with bipolar disorder.

  1. Photo by Ambro freedigitalphotos.net

    Photo by Ambro

    It can control or consume me at times. It sometimes feels as if I am trapped by this illness. It can distort my thinking, destroy relationships, affect my motivation, interfere with both my education and career.

  2. I have to basically be on medication for the rest of my life. This is probably one of the most inconvenient things about having this illness. I don’t think I could function if I didn’t take something to help with the devastating lows and mixed episodes. I personally don’t have the extreme highs to worry about, but the extreme lows are what can absolutely break me.
  3. I feel like everything is ten times more difficult for me than it is for others who don’t live with this illness. I often feel frustrated that I cannot do or accomplish what other people can. It can be hard to see other people succeeding when you, yourself keep having setbacks. Some days it’s a battle and a real accomplishment just to get out of bed or take a shower. I don’t think many understand how difficult it is to live with this illness.
  4. I can’t always accomplish my goals or be reliable. This is one of the effects of the illness that seems to bother me the most. I feel I constantly have to work around this disorder which makes any tasks such as attending class, work, and keeping plans with friends or family a real struggle. Sometimes I find that I cannot commit to anything which makes me feel like a failure or just a terrible person/friend/employee (even though that’s not true).
  5. People tend to stigmatize or judge a person based on the illness. I often feel embarrassed to bring up that I live with this condition because some can be so quick to judge or I find that it makes them uncomfortable. I actually don’t mind discussing the illness, but it becomes awkward when I see that someone else isn’t comfortable with it. It actually does help to talk about it with others and I personally enjoy it, but sometimes I find that I have to be selective with whom I choose to discuss it with. I also dislike that some automatically associate “crazy” or “violent” with this illness. In reality, I am actually a rather sensitive, extremely caring, and emotional person.
  6. Weight Gain and other unpleasant symptoms. This one is rather frustrating to me because I grew up as an incredibly slim girl, but once I got on medication, I blew up like a balloon. My fingers and stomach started to swell and I began craving carbohydrates like crazy. I have also experienced a plethora of other unpleasant side effects from various medications such as hypothyroidism from lithium, seretonin syndrome, muscle spasms, rashes, lethargy, etc. The list of effects could honestly go on and on.

These are just a few aspects that I strongly dislike about having bipolar disorder. I am sure there are plenty more that could be added to this list. What are some things you personally dislike about living with this illness?

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14 Comments

  1. Worst part of it for me is I get a severe rash from my lithium and I live in hot Florida so whenever I wear tank tops or bathing suit strangers come up to me and make comments about my rash asking me if I had some sort of skin condition. I go to the beach and feel bad when I see other girls with clear skin no rash, I hate taking lithium.

  2. Pingback: 6 Things I Hate About Living With Bipolar Disorde – Daily Beast

  3. I get so jealous sometimes. I never had kids, afraid of getting sick. I never had a real career because of severe phobias. Plus, I’m married to someone with a very successfully family. Feel like a nothing. Spent a few hours with them, and two days later I’m so down.

    • I’m so sorry.. I can understand how you feel though and have felt just like you described before. I often feel that way around my family members and my friends who seem to live rewarding and successful lives while I am struggling to just wake up and get the courage to leave the house. It definitely hurts, but I try to remind myself that I am doing all I can do and that I am worthy, talented, and special too. You have your own strengths and I’m sure you’re just as wonderful of a person as those around you. Don’t give up πŸ™‚

  4. Kait, I get it. Numbers 3 & 4 especially. I can’t count the number of times I have cancelled plans and lost friends because of it because I just can’t handle going out. On the brighter side, I got myself a cat recently. She really doesn’t care whether I have highs or lows.
    Thankfully, there are good days.
    (( hugs )) back.

    • I’m sorry to hear that you can relate to some of these issues too, but I’m so happy that you have a cat now! I have two cats and sometimes that’s all I need to feel better. Cats are wonderful friends. I wish you and your kitty the very best πŸ™‚

    • Cats are excellent therapy for bipolar. Dogs are too, but I think cats tend to not be as needy so you don’t have to worry about their care when you’re having a bad time.

  5. Reggie Niccolo Santos

    You hit it it right on the head with the struggle to get up in the mornings sometimes. I’m developing a negative reputation at work because of that.

    • I understand. I, too still struggle with this at times as well. I find that one of the most difficult things about working is actually getting there.

  6. I don’t like being around new people because eventually they ask what do you do for a living? Telling people you don’t work because your on disability makes you feel like a loser!

  7. I think you nailed it on the head. One thing I don’t like is how all the meds I’ve been on, have made me feel like a zombie, I’d rather go without the pharmaceutical medications than be on them.

    One thing I’ve found however, being aware of my condition, it’s easier to deal with and compensate for when I’m having an extreme high or low, well sometimes

    *hugs* be well and a safe journey through life

    • Thank you. I also dislike being on medications because it makes me feel a bit off and not like myself. It can be a tough battle because I want to feel well, but I miss my personality. I totally understand and I wish you the best. Hang in there! πŸ™‚

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